Singles Want Commitment Again. Who Will Carry the Children?

The Kinsey Institute's Singles in America survey for 2026, released in September, has two headlines in it. Only one is getting attention.

The first is romantic. Fewer single Americans say they don't want a relationship: 24%, down from 32% in 2021. 45% say they want to marry, up from 33% in 2010. More people believe in love at first sight than a decade and a half ago.

The second is the one I keep thinking about. 51% of singles now say women should be the primary caregivers for children. In 2013 it was 34%. Among Gen Z men, it's 70%.

What the survey found

The study, run by the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University and funded by Match, asked about 5,000 single adults in the US in spring 2026.

• 38% of 18 to 49 year olds want children: 42% of men and 32% of women.
• 53% value mutual respect most in a partner, and 52% open communication.
• Singles are more open to dating someone with different views on religion (57%), social issues (56%) and money (56%).

Wanting a partner, assuming a role

Read those numbers together. More men want children than women do. More people, and far more young men, think women should be the ones raising them. You can see the shape of a conversation that hasn't happened yet.

In the couples I interviewed, nobody announced that the woman would be the primary caregiver. It happened through leave, proximity and pay. One woman went on maternity leave, and the doctors, the nursery and the school all started calling her. When she went back to work, the job came back. The management role at home stayed. I wrote about her in The Calendar.

The research I gathered for The Work Nobody Sees points the same way. When couples default instead of deciding, the old pattern usually wins. When they decide on purpose, it often doesn't, which is part of why same-sex couples tend to share more evenly. More on that in What Same-Sex Couples Show Us About Housework.

Before you commit, ask

• If we had children, who would take leave, and for how long?
• Who would the school and the doctor call first?
• What happens to each of our careers in the first five years?
• Do we agree on this, or are we each assuming?

The survey also found singles value open communication above almost everything else. This is the conversation that tests it. More in How to Talk to Your Partner About Chores Without a Fight and The 50/50 Problem.

Source: Kinsey Institute at Indiana University and Match, Singles in America 2026, about 5,000 US single adults, fielded March to April 2026, released 14 September 2026.

Questions people ask

What did the 2026 Singles in America survey find?

Fewer singles say they don't want a relationship (24%), 45% want to marry, and 51% say women should be the primary caregivers for children, up from 34% in 2013.

Do Gen Z men think women should be the main caregivers?

In the 2026 Singles in America survey, 70% of Gen Z men said women should be the primary caregivers.

What should couples discuss about children before committing?

Who would take leave, who the school and doctor would call, and what would happen to each career, so the split is decided rather than assumed.