A Third of Gen Z Men Say a Wife Should Obey. What's Going On?

This year's International Women's Day study by Ipsos and the Global Institute for Women's Leadership at King's College London asked 23,268 adults in 29 countries about men, women and power. One number travelled: 31% of Gen Z men agreed that a wife should always obey her husband. Among Gen Z women it was 18%.

The study found something stranger too. Gen Z men were also the most likely to say successful career women are attractive: 41%. Kelly Beaver, chief executive of Ipsos UK, called it a duality.

The numbers for Gen Z men

• 33% say a husband should have the final word on important decisions.
• 24% say women shouldn't appear too independent or self-sufficient.
• 59% say men are expected to do too much to support equality.
• 30% think men shouldn't say "I love you" to their friends.
• 21% think men who care for children are less masculine.

Professor Heejung Chung, who directs the Global Institute, pointed to a gap between young men's personal views and what they imagine society demands of them.

What I heard in interviews

I didn't meet many men who wanted obedience. I met a lot of men who were afraid of something smaller and harder to say.

One couple split everything fifty-fifty, down to a bank transfer for half a carton of milk. When she offered to pay for a trip he couldn't afford, the argument lasted forty minutes. The first thirty-nine were about fairness and independence. In the fortieth he said: "I'm the man. You're not paying for me." His mother had supported the family once, and never let his father forget it. For him, the rule was safety. That story is in Half the Milk.

Another man, a paramedic, put it better than any survey. "I owe my wife things because we're married. Loyalty. Care. Showing up. But I'm not responsible for her as though she were under my authority." More in Protection Without Freedom Isn't Protection.

The contradiction is the point

Wanting a successful partner and wanting the final word aren't really opposites. Both come from the same place: a man who isn't sure what he's for if he isn't in charge or paying. That fear is understandable. It's also the question I spent two years on in Become My Papi: if you take away his money and his authority, what's left that a woman would still want?

The answer in my files was longer than these men fear. Attention, reliability, showing up and being able to lean as well as hold. None of that needs obedience. For men who want to start there, see the page for men and What Women Mean by Take Charge.

Source: Ipsos and the Global Institute for Women's Leadership, King's College London, 2026 International Women's Day study, 23,268 adults in 29 countries, published 5 March 2026.

Questions people ask

Do Gen Z men believe a wife should obey her husband?

In a 2026 Ipsos study across 29 countries, 31% of Gen Z men agreed a wife should always obey her husband, compared with 18% of Gen Z women.

Do young men find successful women attractive?

Yes. In the same study, Gen Z men were the most likely group to say successful career women are attractive, at 41%.

Why do some young men hold traditional views about marriage?

The researchers pointed to a gap between personal views and what young men think society expects. In Nora Vellick's interviews, the rules often came from fear of not being needed.